Flashbacks and Echoes
by Actual Salad
Summary: LaurWalk. Jarren. Told mostly in flashbacks, Joe and Lauren tell Julia and Darren the story of their meeting, romance and eventual end. With songs from Taylor Swift's album Red as it's base (minus Treacherous), it runs through years of love and loss. Rated T for some language.
1. State of Grace

_You come around and the armor falls_  
_Pierce the room like a cannon ball_  
_Now all we know is don't let go_  
_We are alone, just you and me_

* * *

Lauren sat across from Julia in their favorite coffee shop, which was about a block away from the apartment they shared with Jaime. Lauren was staring down at her steaming cup, trying not to have the conversation with Julia she was so close to having.

Julia was forcing her to do this, telling her that it'd be a good way to get over her break up, regardless of the reminiscent nature.

"Come on. Just start from the beginning," Julia said, placing a hand on Lauren's forearm. She looked at her with raised eyebrows and small smile. Lauren shook her head quickly.

"No. I don't wanna do this," she said.

"Come on, it'll set everything straight in your head. It may even make you realize what you should do. If you should move on…or try and talk to him. You guys were together for a while, and it can't just end like that," Julia said, and Lauren glowered at her. The girl was always right.

Lauren took a deep breath. "Okay. We'll start with the day I fell for Joseph Walker. It was the first party, freshman year of college, back when I didn't really like you…"

And the flashback began.

* * *

Lauren ran a hand through her long hair. She really needed it cut. She spun around in her desk chair and looked across the dorm at Julia, who was trying to finish getting ready.

"Jules, hurry up," Lauren was having no sort of patience with her roommate. She was too put together and organized, which was a good thing, but set Lauren off. It was only Freshman year, she told herself, she wouldn't talk to Julia after this year.

"I'm sorry, I just wanna look good tonight. Alright?" she said, pulling on a black shirt, before grimacing at her reflection in the mirror and taking it off, and searching in her drawers for a new one.

"Is that guy gonna be there? The one in our Acting I class?" Laurens eyebrows flicked up. There was a curly haired boy that Julia couldn't keep her eyes off of. If she was gonna spend the year living with Julia, she should at least have something to tease her about.

"Yes. His name is Darren," Julia said, a smile spreading across her face. "He's from California. He plays like, 7 instruments and-"

"Whoa, girl. Calm down," Lauren smiled a little at Julia. Alright, maybe she wasn't that bad. It was funny seeing her fret over a guy.

"It's just, it's my first party I'm going to this year and he'll be there…"

Lauren stood and rifled through Julia's drawers. She smiled and pulled out a little black dress. "This."

"No, Lauren. It's too much, I don't even know I brought that," Julia shook her head nervously.

"It'll be perfect. And please, call me Lo." Lauren smiled a genuine smile and turned so Julia could get dress.

"Oh, god. I can't wear this," she heard Julia mumble. Lauren turned and looked at her roommate with wide eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about? It looks perfect!" Lauren said, and it was true. The dark dress smoothed over Julia's body and looked amazing.

Julia smoothed the dress and looked in the mirror again. "I guess it doesn't look so bad."

"Now that that's out of the way, let's go," she opened the door and gestured for Julia to come with her.

They walked down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the dorm. The party was at an off campus apartment that belonged to one of the Junior's in their major. They were doing a weird thing, letting Freshman come to a party. But that one Junior was overly nice, and Lauren and Julia were ecstatic. It was to start off the year.

When Lauren and Julia got there, red solo cups immediately found their way into their hands. Julia went off to find Darren, and Lauren hung back by the kitchen, a little shy. She never really liked meeting new people.

Then, she saw him. Well, she'd seen him before, him being in one of her classes. She'd thought he was handsome from the first time she'd seen him. His name was Joseph Walker, but that's all she knew. He could be a serial killer, gay, an asshole…the possibilities were endless. He was standing with Darren, when Julia walked over to them. Julia, who smiled wide and greeted them, and Darren who's jaw just about dropped when he saw her. She smiled and shook her head. Julia would be thanking her for weeks. She watched as they walked off talking. Feeling awkward, she took another sip of her drink. Her eyes kept going back to Joseph, who was talking to some guy with light hair and glasses. Dylan, she thought. A figure bumped into her and drink spilled a bit onto her.

"Ohmygod! I'm so sorry!" said the curly haired girl.

"It's fine, really." Laurent took a napkin and dabbed at her shirt. It'd be alright, no stain would appear.

"I'm such a klutz. Oh, I'm Meredith," she said, before running off back into the party. Lauren could tell she'd already had a little too much to drink.

She saw Joseph turn his head away from her direction, a small smirk on his face. Shit, she though. She already made an ass of herself in front of him.

Another person bumped into her and Lauren rolled her eyes. "Sweetie, try to walk like a human." Lauren's eyes widened when she saw who bumped into her, as it wasn't Meredith. It was a Senior, and she looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Oh, I'm sorry…"

"It's fine. I…were you looking at Joe Walker?" she said, a little bit of smile on her face.

"Uh…" she didn't know what to say.

"You were, it's fine. The guy hasn't been here for a month and he's already got a bit of a reputation. Apparently, he's already gotten around with a few girls…" she said, crossing her arms. Lauren had a sneaking suspicion she was one of them.

"I don't really believe rumors," Lauren said thickly. He seemed alright. Granted, she didn't know him. The girl could be right.

"Whatever. Good luck, freshman," and the girl turned and walked off.

Lauren swallowed the rest of what was in her cup.

"Whew, that was a lot at once," said a slightly raspy voice from in front of her. She looked up into ice blue eyes. "I'm Joe."

"Lauren," she said, stuttering a little. She couldn't tell if it was nervousness or the beer. She was a lightweight.

"Did that girl bother you?" he said, an eyebrow cocked. "She likes to scare people off, that's what this guy Jeff said. Likes to make shit up about incoming Freshman. His first year, she told everyone he didn't have a dick. Still hasn't died down for some people."

Lauren smiled a bit. "Well, she's not a saint herself. She pretty much just said she almost slept with him. And she insinuated she slept with you."

"Oh, really now? How many girls have I slept with?" he asked with a laugh.

"A few, she had said. But I don't believe it." Lauren laughed. It felt as if it was just them in that room.

"The best she can do? Wow, I got off easy," he said, and smiled at her. "Hey, you came her with that girl Julia, right? I saw you guys come in together."

"Yeah, she's my roommate."

"Well, I don't think her and Darren will be leaving any time soon. But I know this great place for dinner. You wanna come?"

"Uh, sure. Yeah," she smiled, placed her cup on a counter and followed Joe out of the party.

They walked through the darkness of Ann Arbor. Even though it was close to midnight, the streets were still busy, and the people going through them were busy as well. They moved fast, trying to make each crosswalk light as soon as they could.

Before long, they were seated in the small restaurant, eating burgers and drinking Cokes, and telling high school stories. A song came on the radio that was playing, it was slow enough for dancing and Joe stood.

"Come on, dance with me. I love this song,"

"What?"

"Stand up, and dance with me," he pulled her up and they danced through the end of the song, and through a few more.

It was early to say, but she could already feel herself falling in love with Joe Walker.

* * *

Lauren smiled at the memory and took a sip of her coffee, waiting for a reaction from Julia.

"I remember that night. I was so freaked out when I couldn't find you. Then Darren said he lost Joe as well, and we simply guessed you had met and left together. Although, I thought the possible situation was more decent than was Darren guessed," she smiled and looked down at the ring on her finger. "That was a fun night. So, what else ya got for me?"


	2. Red

_Faster than the wind_

_Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly_

* * *

The night before Julia and Lauren's coffee shop story time, Joe and Darren were sitting on stools at their favorite bar. Joe was still upset over him and Lauren, and Darren thought best to take him out for a drink. Joe was, after only an hour, completely hammered. He hated everything. He hated himself for what happened with Lauren. However, he didn't hate her. He could never hate her. He lost her, and he missed and loved her still.

"I can't stop thinking about her, man," Joe slurred. "As much as I try, I can't forget her. It's like…trying to know someone you've never met."

"You're drunk," Darren said, pulling the newly full glass in front of Joe.

"So what?" Joe replied, and pulled it back to him, taking a long sip.

"If Lauren…" Darren started, but shook his head.

"D-do you remember," Joe gulped and said to Darren, "That time Lauren and I broke up?"

"Which one?" Darren asked with a laugh. Him and Lauren were always...breaking up and getting back together. At least once or twice each year. Especially back in college.

"The first one. Freshman year," Joe said, annoyed even his state.

"Yeah, I do," Darren said, letting Joe relay everything to him multiple times.

"It didn't suck as much as this does," he said, reaching for his glass and drinking the rest. "I just can't move on from her. I still see it all in my head."

* * *

It was a month after that first party, and Joe and Lauren had been together since. They'd eat their meals in the dining hall together, along with Julia, Darren and the rest of their friends, they'd walk to whatever classes they had together, holding hands as they walked to the Walgreen Drama Center, and hanging out in each other's dorm during the afternoon and on weekends. They'd talk about everything. High school, college, their hopes and dreams, their childhood…they got to really know one another.

But before long, Joe became disinterested in having a girlfriend, wanted to go out and have fun and explore the options the large school had to offer. They were in her dorm, sitting on her bed with their backs against the wall when he did the deed.

"Lo, I think…that for now, we should just have fun," he said, as he removed his fingers, which were interlaced with hers.

"So…you're breaking up with me?" she asked, her eyes cast down.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah," he said, standing and biting his lip. "So, I, uh, better go. But we'll still be friends."

Lauren smiled through the sadness slowly overcoming and her and nodded. "Yeah, of course."

He gave her a weak smile and left her alone.

When Julia came back a few hours later, she found Lauren wrapped in her blanket and watching a movie on her laptop.

"Hey," she said, cautiously. Joe had already told Darren, who in turn told Julia.

"Hi, Jules," Lauren said, sitting up.

Julia sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "It's alright, guys are dicks. Joe seems to be one more than others."

"But he's not. That's the problem," she ran a hand through her hair. "Maybe I should go blonde…"

"I don't think that's a good idea, sweetie," Julia said, shaking her head.

"You're right. Maybe one day thought," Lauren paused the movie and turned to face Julia. "I should've known this was coming. He was my first college boyfriend, it wasn't gonna last too long. Also, he's an 18 year old guy. They're not looking for long term relationships. Well, except for Darren maybe." She nudged her friend, who smiled.

"How are you feeling?" Julia asked tentatively.

"I've got all these emotions swirling around in my head, really. Love, anger, resentment. They're all kind of turning into these random colors and making their way everywhere."

"That's…an interesting way of putting it. Come on, let's go get some ice cream. Ice cream makes everything feel better."

"I like the way you think, Jules."

Joe, however, had taken the break up slightly different than Lauren. He went to a dorm party in his building, had a little too much and woke up next to a leggy blonde. He sighed and waited for her to wake up and leave before doing anything. She left him a kiss on the cheek and the promise of a date, but he refused. She rolled her eyes and left, a little peeve. He didn't mind, it wasn't like he wanted a relationship. He wanted to have fun, and it didn't really matter to him. He only had feelings for one girl, but his desire for fun had overcome them.

* * *

Darren laughed as Joe tried to tell the story of that first break up.

"Dude, you're wasted," he said, trying once more to pull the drink away from him.

"No, I'm not! I just…" Joe said, making a grab for the glass.

"Nope! You've had enough."

"Bullshit. I'm upset."

"Why did you guys break up, anyways?"

Joe blinked…he didn't remember. "I don't know…"


	3. I Knew You Were Trouble

_I knew you were trouble when you walked in,_

_So shame on me now._

_Blew me to places I've never been._

* * *

"I don't think I wanna do this anymore," Lauren muttered, her eyes train on the coffee in front of her.

"Come on, okay, so you guys break up after a month. What happens next?" Julia said, eyes wide with sympathy.

"Jules, you know what happens," Lauren whined, this was one of her worst memories. Ever. "I was such an idiot that night…"

"Remember what happened afterwards, though?" Julia said, her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, yeah. But I'm still not proud of it. And that was shitty way to get back together." Lauren replied, crossing her arms.

"Refresh my memory?" Julia asked.

"Fine," Lauren said after a minute, but I'm not telling you all the details.

* * *

It was February, it had been 4 months after that break up. Lauren had more than gotten over it, and had chopping her hair shoulder length and dyed it blonde, which she was already in love with. Maybe she'd keep it that way for a while. Her and Julia were headed to another off campus party, and Lauren was keen on meeting someone new. The person throwing the party was named Jeff, and they were both more than excited. Lauren liked how something always happened at parties. She met Joe the first one, made more friends the second and so on.

Maybe something would happen that night.

They got there when the party was in full swing. Lauren saw Joe and waved, they had stayed friends, which was nice. She walked over to him and they hugged. She knew about his love for women and used the slight jealous she had to tease him about it.

"So, who's your lady friend tonight?" she asked leaned against the wall next to him. Darren had already stolen Julia away.

"Ah, I don't have one yet tonight," he said with a slight smirk. "I will soon, though…"

"You're such an asshole, wow," she said with a chuckle. She went over to the keg and got a cup of beer, downing it quickly. She swallowed and wondered what she was doing. She didn't drink that fast. Sure it was one beer, but the though crossed her mind as she a got a second.

"Whoa, two? That's more than usual," Joe said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know, I feel like drinking a bit tonight," she said, sipping her drink. "That a prob, Walker?"

"Uh, no, I…" he said, finishing his and getting another. "Why not have a partner?"

"You're on," she said and they clinked cups as they laughed.

A few hours later, after quite a few beers between the two of them, Joe and Lauren walked back to campus, stumbling a little. They didn't know where Julia and Darren were…but that usually happened at parties. They'd been going strong since that first one…

"Where's your dorm again?" Joe asked, looking around quickly.

"Right here. Yeah," she said, swiping her ID to get in.

"I should make sure you get into bed alright," Joe said, rubbing the back of his neck. "It'd be a good thing…"

"Ah, drunk Joe Walker is nice Joe Walker. Who woulda guessed it?" she slurred a bit as they walked down the hall to her dorm. She unlocked it and walked inside. Julia wasn't there and she sat down on the edge of the bed and took her shoes off. Joe shut the door behind him and collapsed on the floor.

"I haven't been in here in forever," he said, looking around.

"Yeah, no shit,"

"When was I last her?"

"When you dumped me, asshat."

"Oh right!"

"You're hopeless."

"Shut up, Lopez."

"Make me, Walker."

And then he did. He stood up clumsily and walked over to her spot on the bed. She place his hands on either side of her face. His drunken state overcame his judgement and he kissed her sloppily on the mouth. She returned the kiss letting her hands run down his front. She slid backwards, her lips still on his, so she could lay fully on the bed with her over him. He place on of his hands on her thigh, sliding slowly up her dress.

Lauren then became something she thought she'd never become – one of Joe's 'girls'.

The next morning was one of those what-the-fuck-did-i-do-last-night mornings. Lauren woke up alone in her bed and looked around, confused as to the events of the previous night. She was against the wall as much as possible and there was a slight indent in the mattress next to her, and a Boston Red Sox hate strewn on the floor.

"Aw, shit," she said, facepalming. She got up, got dressed, swallowed two Advil, and wondered where Julia was.

She picked up her phone pressed speed dial number 3, and waited as it rang.

"Hello?" said a grumbly Julia.

"Jules, thank god. Where are you?" she asked, resting her head in her hand.

"I'm uh," she started, and sighed, "I'm at Darrens. Wait."

Lauren did, as she heard Julia talk to someone.

"Can you let me – just turn around for a sec, Joe okay?"

"Jules, did Joe just walk in?"

"What, yeah, why?"

"When, uh, when are you gonna get back?"

"When I um…get dressed and walk back," Julia said this quietly and then her voice turned to anger. "Shut up, Joe! I'm going to punch you!"

Lauren heard Darren on the other end try and calm her down a bit.

"Sorry, Lo, I'm leaving right now. Can't deal with this ASSHOLE!"

"Uh, alright," Lauren said before hanging up.

About ten minutes later, an annoyed looking Julia appeared in the doorway.

"Wow, I'm so happy that you're not with that Joe Walker anymore. What an asshole, I mean-" she said, but then her eyes saw the hat on the floor. "Why's his hat here?"

Lauren rubbed her temples. "Please stop yelling. And I'm pretty sure I slept with him? I was pretty trashed last night."

"Lauren…"

"Don't say anything. Just. Okay. How was your night with Darren?"

"It was fine, before this asshole just walks in and starts cracking every kind of joke. What a dick."

"We've established that he's a dick, alright?"

"Yeah, I know. You might wanna get yourself checked out. He's probably covered in diseases. And Lo, I hope you don't expect anything from this, you know what he's like."

"I know he's trouble. But it's my fault, I shouldn't have let myself drink so much," Lauren said with a sigh. "I'm pretty sure it was really good though?"

"Trouble. That's a good description, and with all the girls he's seen you're probably right," Julia let out a laugh. "Come on, let's get some breakfast."

* * *

"I'm really not proud of that," Lauren said, laughing a bit at the memory.

"But, look what happened after that," Julia said, trying to make it a little better.

"What? We could barely look at each other for a month?" Lauren said, raising an eyebrow and sipping her coffee.

"No, spring break," Julia reminded her, smiling.

"Oh, right. I forgot about that," Lauren started reminiscing that week but shook her head. "No that's the past. Even though that was the week we…really…kind of…fell for each other."


	4. All Too Well

**AN: WOWEE this is a long chapter! I'm glad people are enjoying this. Warning: I may be changing the rating to M soon. But please, don't let that stop you from reading! xoxo gossip girl**

* * *

_Photo album on the counter_

_Your cheeks were turning red_

_You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed_

* * *

Joe looked down at his sixth beer of the night and smiled a little. "I remember…freshman year…when Lauren's parents went to Europe during Spring Break and didn't take her."

"Oh yeah, didn't she head home with you?" Darren asked, relieved to see his friend a bit happier. "Even after that…night."

"Oh man, I remember that!" Joe said, his eyes growing wide. "That was the first time I slept with her! I don't really remember the details…just that we were really awkward around each other for a while after that. I didn't even look at another girl afterwards…weird, huh?" "So, that spring break. What happened?" Darren questioned, trying to get his friend to pull out some good memories.

"What didn't?" Joe said, staring off into space.

* * *

Joe was walking to his last class before spring break, when he bumped into Lauren. Actually bumped into her, and they both fell to the ground.

"Watch where you're going, dickface," she said, picking her things up. She looked at what she bumped into and gasped. "Sorry, Joe, didn't mean to call you that. But watch where you're going."

"Sorry, Lo. I didn't see you there…" he trailed off, not wanting to make a joke about her height. Things were still awkward between them and he didn't want to upset her.

He hadn't as much looked at another girl since the night the month before. He was still stuck on her, even though he couldn't really remember that night.

"It's alright, not many people do," she said, trying to make a joke. "If you're really sorry, carry my shit to my next class. My arms hurt cause some asshole sat on them."

"Alright, Lopez," he said with a laugh. "So. You excited for break?"

"Nope. Cause I don't have anywhere to go," she said with a small sigh.

"What? Why the hell not?" he said, slightly incredulous.

"My parents are in Europe…and being alone in my house for a week doesn't seem that inviting. I haven't told Julia though, so…"

"Why don't…why don't you come home with me? I should be going somewhere fun…but I miss home. You feel me?" he said.

"I feel you, Walker. And sure, why not? Better than nothing," she said with a shrug.

"Ah, cool. I'm leavin' tonight. So we should be there sometime mid tomorrow."

"…We're driving," she asked, stopping her tracks.

"Yep! About 13 hours to Cambridge. See you later, Lo," and with that, he handed her her books and ran off to his class.

Lauren yelled in her head, there was no way in hell she wanted to spend 13 hours in the car with Joseph Walker.

But that's exactly what she'd ended up doing.

A few hours later, there she was, sitting in the passenger's seat of Joseph Walkers car, heading East to Massachusetts – somewhere she'd never been.

"Aw, man. If Six Flags was open I'd take you there. But I'll bring you into Boston for a day. Boston rocks," he said, driving down the highway.

"That sounds fun," she said, a little unenthusiastically.

"Uh, yeah. Hey, I got you a coffee. Maybe we could pull an all nighter?" he asked, slightly hopeful.

"Nah, I just took two Benadryl. I'll be out within the hour," no freaking way she was going to talk to him all night.

"Oh. Alright," he ran a hand through his hair and concentrated on the road, but he became slightly distracted. "Uh, Lo? Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you," she said, picking her head up from it's resting spot against the window.

"Really? That's bullshit," he replied, slightly angry.

"I'm driving home with you and staying with you for a week. I wouldn't do that if I hated you…" she huffed, she getting tired of him already.

"Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Alright, goodnight, Lo,"

"Night…Wox."

When Lauren woke up the next morning, she began to see signs for Cambridge. She breathed a sigh of relief. She wouldn't have that much time left alone with him. She rubbed her eyes, and looked at Joe, who looked like he was more than exhausted.

"You hangin' in there?" she asked, glancing down at the two empty coffee cups.

"What? Oh, yeah," he said, shaking his head. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

"Shit. Julia's told me that…fuck, what'd I say?" Knowing her, she probably confessed undying love for him in her sleep.

"Well, you called me an asshole a few times…and you said something about that time…last month…" he said, grimacing.

"Oh, sorry…" she mumbled, trying to skate over the subject. She was lucky, they had just pulled up in front of his house. It was a small ranch style house with a large front yard, and Lauren could just make out a tree house in the back.

"Welcome!" Joe said, getting out and pulling the bags out of the trunk.

Lauren stepped out of the car and stretched her legs, waiting for Joe so they could walk up to the house together. And they did, and Joe put down a bag to open the door, and kicked it open with his foot.

"Mom?" he called, putting the bags next to the front door. "Hello?" He walked through an archway, and came back out with a note. "They're in Florida for the week. What are the fucking odds."

Lauren's eyes widened. His family was gone too? This meant she'd be alone with Joe for a week…and she had no way to get home.

"I'm sorry, Lo. I didn't know…I don't have money to get you any sort of ticket back to Michigan…" he said sheepishly.

"I…it's fine. I've never been in this part of the country. I'll stay here with you…if it's alright,"

"Uh, yeah. Come on, I'll show you your room!" he said, and he picked up her bag and set off down the hallway. He opened a door and they walked into a small room, which was pink. "Uh, it's my sisters. But the note said she's at my grandparents this week. So I think it'd be alright…"

"Okay," Lauren said with a slight smile. "Do you mind if I get settled in?"

Joe blinked and nodded. "Of course. Take your time."

Lauren pulled her scarf off as Joe shut the door, and placed it on the white dresser. She changed out of her traveling clothes and into a pair of jeans and a plain tshirt. She rolled up the end of jeans, as they were too long, and then ran a brush through her hair. She sat on the edge of the bed and fell backwards. It'd be an interesting week.

A few hours later, Joe and Lauren were sitting in the dining room, over two plates of Kraft Mac and Cheese, telling childhood memories brought upon by something in Joe's house. After dinner, Joe washed the dishes as Lauren looked around the living room. She picked up a book from the table and started flipping through it.

"Ohmygod, Joe! Is this you?" she said, pointing to a picture of a small boy wearing a tee-ball uniform.

"Oh god," he sighed, walking over and taking the book from her, his cheeks turning redder by the second. "No."

"It is! Ohmygod!" Lauren said, taking it back and flipping through. One of Joe wearing glasses and curled up in a little bed reading the Chronicles of Narnia, or sitting with a small baby in that living room, him on first days of school, prom, and his high school graduation. "You were the cutest kid ever. I swear. What happened?"

"Real sweet, Lo. Let's see some of yours one day," he said, taking it away from her again and putting it back on the table.

"Not a chance. I'm never taking you to my house," she said, crossing her arms and sticking her tongue out.

"Oh, yeah?" he said, getting her face a little.

"Yep, that's right Walker."

He smirked, before looking at her for a second. And then, he kissed her softly. Lauren, not expecting this, fell backwards onto the floor from shock.

"Well, I knew I had an effect on women…" he said, shaking with laughter. He reached out his hand, and she took it, and he pulled her up.

"Well, I…don't really have a response to that," she laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I've got one…" and he kissed her again, letting his hands graze her waist. She kissed him back for a minute before scrunching her brow and pulling away.

"I, uh, I'm getting pretty tired," she yawned, and started towards her room. "So, uh, goodnight."

She left Joe alone in the middle of the living room, his cheeks still pink and his eyes confused.

The next morning was slightly awkward, Lauren woke up around 9 and walked into the kitchen to find Joe sitting at the table staring into his coffee.

"Morning, Walks," she said, tentatively.

His head shot up at the sound of her voice. "Lo! Morning! Today, I thought we'd head up north for a little while. Salem, maybe. Rockport. Good plan?"

"Uh, sure,"

"Be ready in a half hour."

By 9:30, they were on the road. They drove through the roads of Massachusetts, looking at the new Spring taking effect.

"So," Lauren said, drumming her fingers against her leg.

"Yeah?"

"Uh, last night…"

"Oh. Right."

"I just…"

"No, it's okay. It was kind of a dick move."

"I didn't mind it, really. I didn't. It's just…I don't even know what you meant by it."

"Me either, really," and he looked over at her for a second, as he passed their exit. "I invited you back her for a reason."

"If it's to fuck me again you can just drop me off right here and I'll walk back to Michigan."

"No! It's not that. Since that night I really couldn't stop thinking about you. Which is weird. And we never talked about it,"

"You're Joe Walker. From what I've heard, you've had your way around. You don't have to talk about it."

"I haven't looked at another girl since that night."

"You're full of it."

"I'm not. Look, Lo. I know I was drunk, but I…" he sighed. "Nevermind."

"You what?"

"I…wait…that's not the right sign. Shit. I think we missed the exit. I'll just get off this one…okay. What was I saying? Yeah. I just, want, you again."

"Now you do."

"Yes. I do."

Lauren smiled softly, and rested her hand on his. "I've always thought of myself as kind of an idiot."

"Oh, and wanting me makes you an idiot?" he said, moving his hand so he could easily grasp hers.

"Obviously. But you're an idiot, too."

The rest of the week passed by without so much as a disagreement. They ate their meals at the same time every night, even the night they spent in Boston. They stayed up late talking, an having snacks, and even dancing in the light given off from the refrigerator. Before long, it was over. And they were on their way back to Michigan, the drive a little different from the first one.

* * *

"That was such a nice week," Joe said dreamily.

"Okay, keep drinking, bud. I'm diggin' these stories," Darren said with a laugh.

"Man, I miss her so much. I don't know why I-" he started, but looked back down at his drink.

"Me either," Darren sighed, but a smile grew on his face. Maybe Joe and Lauren weren't a lost cause.


	5. 22

_It feels like a perfect night_

_to dress up like hipsters and make fun of our exes_

* * *

"That was an…amazing week," Lauren sighed, pushing the empty coffee cup away from her, her eyes still slightly glazed from the memory. "I don't think I'll forget it."

"And you shouldn't," Julia said, after tossing their trash and sitting back down. "Because you still love him."

"Jules…" Lauren started, but let out a sigh. "I do still love him. But he doesn't want me anymore. So why I should I?"

"He's just confused, Lo. He's a guy. Guy's aren't the smartest out there."

"What about Darren? He's not that stupid. You guys are perfect together. You've broken up once. For a week during senior year. You guys were fine. And what's next week?" Lauren looked pointedly at the ring on Julia's left hand.

Julia smiled and moved her hand from the table. "That's not the point, Lo. Okay, continue the story. What happens?"

"I won't even say that you know what happens 'cause you'll make me tell you anyway. Okay, me and Joe were together for a long time…but I broke up with him February of senior year. I remember I found these texts on his phone from some girl…and he wouldn't explain. I assumed he was cheating. He never told me he wasn't…" Lauren looked outside and continued. "I remember…it was right before I turned 22…"

* * *

"Lo, hurry up, it's getting late," Julia said, knocking on the bathroom door in the apartment she shared with Lauren.

"It's my birthday! I do what I want!" Lauren replied through the door, as she carefully put eyeliner on.

"22 isn't as big as 21, sweetie. Your demands don't matter as much," Julia said with a laugh, leaning back against the wall across from the door.

Lauren opened the door to reveal her smiling self. "They matter more this year, because I'm single on my birthday."

"You got over Joe pretty fast, it's been a week for me and Dare and I…" Julia looked down at the floor. Lauren walked over to her friends and wrapped her arms around her.

"Hey, guys are stupid. They're dicks. Forget about him. When we're in New York in a few months, you won't even remember his name." Lauren trailed off, her eyebrows raised.

"You're right,"

"Alright, let's go. It's a perfect night to look good and make fun of our exes, okay?" Lauren said, pulling Julia out the door.

They arrived at their favorite bar, and both ordered a shot of tequila. When the shots arrived, the toasted.

"To 22!" Lauren said, and Julia the same, and they tossed back the drinks.

They both giggled, even the small amount of alcohol loosening them up. The door of the bar opened, and in walked Darren and Joe. Julia turned and locked eyes with Darren, before whipping her head back around and putting her head down. "Shit."

"It's okay, Jules. He's just a guy," Lauren said, glancing up at the two men who were walking over to their table. "Oh, hi."

"Hey, Lo. …Jules." Darren said, his eyes already trained to Julia, who's head was still down.

Julia sat up and gave him a small smile. "Hey, Dare."

"Can uh, can we talk?" he said, holding out his hand for Julia.

"Sure," she said, standing, and not taking his hand.

Lauren watched as they walked off together, and then remembered Joe, who was standing there awkwardly. "Joe."

"Lauren. Hi. Happy birthday!" he said, keeping his hands behind his back.

"Oh, thanks, Joe," she said before ordering a glass of beer from the bartender.

"I, I got you something," he said, holding a small wrapped package out to her.

"Thanks…I didn't expect you to get me anything," she said, holding it in her hands. She didn't really want to open it.

"Open it," Joe sat next to her and leaned an elbow on the bar. He gave her a soft smile. "It's the least you could do…"

"The least I could do?" Lauren's eyes widened. "I still don't even know who that girl was Joe, and you were sending her some things…"

"Lo…" he said, his eyes closing.

"No. It's okay. Thanks for the present," and with that, she turned away and didn't move until she heard him walk away.

She rolled her eyes and shoved the gift into her purse. She heard someone sit next to her, she looked over and saw Julia, her face slightly pink.

"I'm guessing it went well with Darren?" Lauren asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"Yeah. We're back together. He has plans with Joe…but he wanted to find me first. We're going out for dinner tomorrow," Julia said, drumming her fingers on the table.

"That's great, Jules."

"Thanks, Lo. Hey," Julia said, pointing to the corner of the present in her bag. "What's that?"

"Birthday present from Joe. We talked for a second," she shook her head.

"Oh. How do you feel?" Julia asked, a little quietly.

"I feel…22. That's how I feel," Lauren said, and with that, she down the rest of her drink and laughed.

* * *

Lauren laughed at the memory. "I still have it, you know. The present."

"What was it? I don't think you ever told me. You went into your room, opened it, and the next morning you told me you hid it." Julia said.

"It was a party picture from the party we met. I guess someone miss-shot and they took a picture of us talking. He put it in a frame and-" she sighed. "It was in our apartment. I took it when I left last week. It's buried in one of my bags."

"You miss him, don't you?" Julia asked her.

"I…almost do. Almost."


	6. I Almost Do

**A/N: I attempted to write a short chapter. Then I got carried away with trying to tell stories without dialogue. The end of this chapter contains feels. Enjoy!**** This is probably my favorite chapter I've written, actually.****Also, I will not be writing a chapter for the song "The Lucky One".**

* * *

_Oh we made quite a mess, babe_

_ It's probably better off this way _

* * *

"I wonder if she's still up. I bet she is. Sitting in the chair by the window, looking out at the city…" Joe said, a little dreamily. "I wonder if she's thinking about me…she told me she did that a lot."

"She probably is, Joe," Darren ran a hand through his hair. As long as he and Julia could fix this. He'd taken Joe that night, and Julia would talk to Lauren in the morning. Darren knew he was starting to get through to him.

"Remember- remember when," Joe started, pointing at Darren. "Remember when we did AVPM?"

"How could I forget?" Darren laughed.

"And Lauren and I – we were so close to getting back together during that…"

* * *

Joe walked into Studio One and looked around at the people already gathered there. First rehearsal for the Lang's Harry Potter musical. He was ecstatic to have been cast as Voldemort…well, ecstatic to have been cast. He looked over at Lauren, who was talking to Joey. She laughed at something he said and ran a hand through her hair. Joe sighed a little and turned around to find Matt or Nick. He would try not to think of her. He'd been trying to tell her what had actually happened – that Joey had borrowed his phone and sent the texts to that girl. Every time he'd try to reach out to her…he wouldn't get a reply. So he's decided to stop trying. It takes everything in him not to call her, or text her, or tell Darren to ask Julia to tell Lauren to call or text him. She either moved on or hated him. And it was killing him in the inside.

After rehearsal, he caught up with Lauren.

"Hey," he said, rubbing the back of neck.

"Oh, hi, Joe," she turned her head from him to look at something, anything.

"I haven't talked to you since your birthday…did you like your present?" he asked, almost doing something to get her to look at him.

"Uh, yeah. It was nice," she was telling the truth. She loved the present. She'd actually put it on her dresser, and it was one of the first things she saw in the morning…but she wasn't going to tell him that. "It…it doesn't change anything, though."

"I know, but, everything…everything happens for a reason, right?" he said, slowing his walk to a stop.

"Yeah, it does. So. Yeah." She stopped herself, turned and gave him a soft smile, before walking away.

He hung his head and turned the opposite way, even though it'd take him further from his apartment.

Lauren returned to her empty apartment that night, as Julia was with Darren, and curled up on the couch, her mind regrettably still on Joe. She missed him, she wouldn't dare deny herself that. Something she would deny herself though, was working things out with Joe. She was actually enjoying singledom. She wouldn't have to buy him a birthday present, or a Valentine's day present or a Hannukah present. She could stay home and watch crappy Lifetime movies without being judged and she could be as spontaneous and crazy as she wanted. By fall, she and Julia would be living in New York City together, and into the craziness of a new city. Lauren picked up the TV remote and clicked the power button. She flicked through the channels before settling on a movie she recalls coming out when she was in middle school. Before too long she fell asleep.

Her mind swirled with memories turned into dreams – being with Joe in Boston, doing shows with him, bringing him home to meet her parents the first time and suffering through his discovery of her baby pictures. They were all meshed together in a concise dreams. She woke with a start and sat up, raking her hand through her hair. She clicked her remote to see them time on the still playing TV. It was past 1. She stood up and made her way into her room. She lied in her bed and stared at the ceiling, not quite being able to fall back to sleep. After about an hour of letting her mind wander different scenarios in an effort to have it calm and fall back into sleep, she got up and sat in a chair she had placed by the window. She looked out at Ann Arbor, finally quiet after a long night. She let herself think of Joe this time.

* * *

The same night of Joe and Darren's bar trip, and the night before Lauren and Julia's coffee date, Lauren was doing the same exact thing. Her eyes now trained on Chicago, and in the direction of where her apartment with Joe was. She wiped at her eyes to make sure no tears were threatening to fall, and she was content that none were.

Back in the bar, Joe was alone at his table, Darren up to use the bathroom. Joe looked out the window with a sigh. He was able to clear through the fog of alcohol to come up with one thought – what had he done?

He had been so stupid. Breaking up with Lauren because – because what? She had different plans? Because she wanted to stay in Chicago and he wanted to move back to Massachusetts? He didn't think about the argument that had gone from that into something more. Them, picking at each thing they didn't like about the other. His final blow to her, telling her things were over – for good. No getting back together this time. Her face, red with anger, turned pale white and the corners of her mouth falling into a frown, her eyes drooping – but only for a second. Her anger coming back and yelling that she was leaving and staying with Jaime and Julia. Lauren running hastily and packing her belongings, while Joe watched her with crossed arms and dark glare. Her leaving without so much as a goodbye…and Joe slowly breaking down after he heard the door close.

He didn't let himself think of that.


	7. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

_Then you come around again and say_  
_Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change_

* * *

"Lauren. Everything is fixable, okay?" Julia said, tired of having to repeat herself over and over to Lauren. "I mean, you guys got over that text thing, right?"

"Yes. We did, and I'm guessing you want to hear about that?" Lauren muttered.

"You're a mind reader, Lopez,"

Lauren shuddered at the use of her last name and began the next part of the story.

* * *

"You guys, seriously, that was amazing," Matt said to the cast of HP: the Musical after the curtain call of their final show. "Let's just hope we don't get sued…"

They all laughed and packed their things up, heading to the exit, and downtown to celebrate at everyone's favorite bar. Lauren was shaking her hair out after finally removing her wig and cap. She ran a few fingers through it and checked her reflection in the mirror. Behind her, she could see Joe, surrounded by a dozen used make up removing wipes, attempting to clean off the makeup covering his body. She let out a soft chuckle as he tried to wipe his back.

"I can hear you," he said glancing up at her.

"Why don't you just go home and shower?" she asked with a playful tone. Things were close to being alright between them – their usual banter returning. She still had no intention of getting back together with him, though.

"Because I'd fall asleep the second I got out of the shower, and I could use a drink or two," he replied, taking out a few wipes and using them all to wipe down his front.

Lauren let her eyes run over his body before she realized what she was doing and quickly returned them to her own relfection. "You're a piece of work, Walker."

"So I've heard," he said, finally seeing his actual skin. "Getting close!"

Just then, Joey ran in and looked at the both of them. "Hey, you guys coming?"

"Yeah, of course. Give me a sec to get changed," Lauren said, skipping into the dressing room.

"And I gotta clean myself off a bit more…" she heard Joe say.

"Hey, man, can I borrow your phone again?" Joey said, reaching for Joe's phone, which was sitting next to him.

"What, did you lose yours again?" Joe asked, letting him take it. "Just don't forget to erase everything this time."

"I swear, I had it on one of the campus busses, and then when I got to class I didn't have it," and with that, Joey left the room. Joe laughed and shook his head, his eyes travelling to where Lauren was changing. He never told her what had happened…he never got the chance…and now he did.

"Hey, Lo…" he said, standing up and walking towards the door of the dressing room.

"What's up, Joe?" Lauren said, walking outside and almost crashing into him. "Have means to kill me?"

"I wanted to take about…what happened…and whether or not we can-"

Lauren turned around and gave him a hard look, something he hadn't been expecting. "Joe, I thought I've made it clear. But we're…we are…we're never ever…getting back together. Okay?"

Joe looked at her differently, his bright blue eyes turning dark and his eyebrows furrowing. She looked at him and shook her head, walking out without any of her things. He followed her, swiping her bag and catching up to her in the hall.

"Lauren, you didn't even give me a chance to explain myself. That's all I want,"

"What is there to explain? Joe – just give it a fucking rest, please."

He set his jaw and looked down at her, before shoving her bag into her hands and going back inside to get his things. He pulled a shirt over his head and walked back into the hallway where a slightly shocked and upset Lauren was. He looked at her once more and said, "I tried. I did try. I loved you. I still love you. Three years and you can't even give me three minutes to explain. You're right. We're never going to get back together." He gave her a hard look and walked outside and towards the direction everyone else had gone. He muttered words under his breath as he walked, the anger far from calming down.

Lauren, however, still stood in her spot, watching him walk away through the windows. She heard a door open behind her, and turned to see Joey walk out of the bathroom, Joe's phone in his hand.

"Hey, Lo," he said, a bit surprised to still see her there. "You okay?"

She shook her head and went into the outstretched arms of her friend. He asked if it was Joe and she nodded, letting the angry and sad tears stain his shirt.

"Hey, he gets angry over the smallest things," Joey said, placing his hands on her shoulders and leaning down a little to look into her face. "I used a phone like, two months ago to talk to this girl from back home, and I forgot to delete the messages…and pictures…and he went crazy."

Lauren blinked, and an idea floated into her head. "Joey…was that…was that around the time that Joe and I…broke up?"

"Uh, yeah. It was right before it…" he said, the same idea in his. "That's why you two broke up. You saw those and thought he was sending them…oh god, it's my fault."

"No. It's not. It's mine. I should've given him time to explain. I shouldn't have even looked through his phone in the first place. Fuck. I'm such a bitch. And everything's ruined and I'm sure he doesn't even want to look at me right now. You know, I can't even think of something since Freshman year without him being in that memory? Graduation is less than two weeks away, and if the last time I see him will be while he's hating me. And he hates me right now. And I…I don't know what I should do."

"Did he just leave?" Joey asked, looking out the large window.

"Yeah, just before you came out of the bathroom,"

"Then go the fuck after him!"

"I'm…going to…do…that," Lauren said, not quite making up her mind.

"Seriously. Go," Joey said, giving her a push.

"This is so disgustingly corny. Thanks, Richter," she hugged him quickly before running out of the building and down the street where Joe had gone. She ran as fast as she had in a while, almost knocking a few people over. She reached the street of the bar and turned the corner to see Joe still walking, his hands in his pockets. She called out to him. "Joe!"

He stopped for a moment, but continued walking. She kept calling his name until she reached him, and moved quickly in front of him, pressing her hands to his chest to stop him.

"Oh, god, what do you want Lauren?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm giving you what you want. Three minutes to explain," she said, her eyes full of hope.

"No. Please move," he said, not wanting to push her out of the way.

"Okay. I will then. You lent Joey your phone, he used it to be a little whore and I thought it was you and I jumped to conclusions. How's that?" She watched as different emotions crossed over his face. The anger disappeared, then came confusion, relief, happiness, and then anger once more.

"Lo, it's…too late…now," he said, moving around her.

"Joe, please, I love you. I don't want my asshole mistake to ruin everything. Three years right? That's a long time, okay? Can we not let it go to waste? I shouldn't have said we were never ever getting back together. It was dumb, Joe I just…" she waited for him to say something, anything. They were still standing on the sidewalk, but his back was to her.

Joe slowly turned and looked at her, a smirk playing on the corners of his mouth. He moved closer to her, placed his hands and her waist and pulled her to him, moving his lips onto hers. They didn't speak a word to each other as they made their way back to Lauren's, or as they moved into Lauren's room. They didn't speak as they slowly made love, making up for lost time, or even for a little while after that.

Her head was buried into his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. "I love you…" she mumbled, almost so he couldn't hear it.

"And I love you."

* * *

Lauren started laughing as she remembered the morning after. "I'll never forget how you screamed when you woke up and found him in the bathroom."

"There was a half-naked man taking a shower in my home, what did you expect me to do?" Julia said, laughing herself.

"It took hours to calm you down. And then you asked about everything that happened over coffee after he left. Some things never change, Jules," Lauren grinned smugly.

"Some things shouldn't change, Lo,"

"Like me and Joe you're trying to say?"

"I didn't say that."

"Sometimes it's good if they do."

Lauren gave her friend a small smile as she let herself remember that night again.


End file.
